Free Write

It’s been awhile since I’ve let out some words and thoughts. And I know it’s the same for other people. Lately everything that I’ve been thinking keeps finding itself rooted back to the idea that Life is simply too short to not do what makes you happy. The only caveat I can think of to that idea is going through the pain period in order to experience a greater happiness later on. For example, I don’t like going to school, but I do it because I know with the skills and knowledge and insight I gain will help me become a more adept, and able person to firstly provide for my family and to attain things that I want.

• Don’t sacrifice your health for wealth.

I’m still in school, raise a kid, and work, and I still have time to get a few reps in, a few sets, and a few minutes of running. And I love it. 

I strive to find a perfect balance between physical and mental superiority. As many of my guy friends know, I play Call of Duty Modern Warfare 3. And Just as in depth I got with Counter-Strike, I’m finding myself transitioning to understanding the tactical side of the game. I’d like to consider myself a tactician from both an individual and group perspective.

Same thing goes with my academics. It’s incredibly hard decipher algorithms and write proofs and to know which one has an advantage over the other. But it’s worth it as it sets you apart from everyone else who doesn’t know it.

Getting to your destination is only part of the struggle. You should find ways to enjoy the journey as you progress. For the longest time, I had this idea that getting to the destination  was all that mattered. Let me give you a counter-example: My goal is to get a 6 figure income. Say I work really hard and focus on getting 6 figures. Say I get it. Now ask, what have I lost? If you missed out opportunities to spend time with loves ones,  or fail to welcome more people into your circle of influence, or failed to become healthier than yesterday, then in my opinion you’re doing it wrong.

• Be careful of what you become

I like being right. I don’t like it when I’m wrong. But I value the lessons learned from my mistakes.

Listen

Recently I took CCL (Center for Communication and Leadership) courses at UCSD and noticed a similar message between two of them.

Listen.

Listen to your audience, listen to your surroundings, listen to yourself. I love the video above about Bruce Lee teaching Mike Jeet Kune Do, and he emphasizes the ability to listen. When you think of fighting, you think of punches, kicks and blocks. But listening?!?! Bruce Lee’s philosophy and approach is a testament to his leadership skills. Listen for the bird.

A leader listens to his/her audience. From body position to what they want to what they need. A leader knows what to do next because his/her ability to listen.

When you meet someone, really remember their name what their about. When conversing with others, not only understand the words that they are saying, but also understand the FEELING they are trying to communicate.

I used to think that focus was either lazer-like sharp or wide spread thin. But now we should be attuned to all people and things. Our Listening ability should be broad and immense like the Sun’s rays upon the Earth.

What do you think?

Free Write of the Night

It’s been awhile since I’ve entered a journal entry. To be honest it’s been on my mind for far too long without actual manifestation. As much as we try to be aware of all that change that stirs around us, we never really fathom just how great our lives change on a day to day basis. It’s not until we stop, and reflect on all that time has allowed us to do. It reminds me of a passage I’ve heard from a book. Its something to the effect that when we are to climb over our mountains in life, it’s not at the moment that we actually do it, but really when we’ve gone through it and perceived it. It makes me think of how many things we do in our lives as daily tasks, only to constantly be blind to the possibility of doing them better.

tying your shoes faster: Ian knot

Breathing techniques: Dr. Weil

A better nights sleep: 1.5 hrs a cycle

maybe this isn’t quite a “free write” in the traditional sense that I jot down whatever comes to mind without edit or censorship, but if get my ideas across the way I see it most effectively at the spur of my thread of thought, then to me it serves its purpose.

The reason why I bring up the realization of change in our lives is because my family has been an amazing one for mine. My son, Isaac is with me everyday, playing, smiling, jumping, crying, farting, pooping, running around making sure his dad gets some exercise chasing him. And when I think about it, my very first here on WordPress reflects that aggregate change. It feels only recent that the little one couldn’t hold up his head, and that he would fall asleep in my arms at different times of the day. And as much as this is a reflection of some of my memories of how he was, I can’t help but also think of how amazing he will be in the future.

Like I mentioned in my very first post, this feeling/understanding is something that transcends time and generation.

My Son –> Me –> My Dad

I sit here, like almost every night, about my primal duty to provide for my family and whether or not I am meeting that goal/expectation. I firmly believe that a great role model leads by example. So if I must want the best for my son and for him to make the right decisions in his life, I must also mold and design the best ones for my own. If I want to show him how to succeed, I must succeed in my own life. If I want him to be happy, I must be happy in my own life.

They say the apple never falls far from the tree.

Well here’s hoping that it lands on fertile soil growing to be an even bigger, fruitful tree than the last.

Stream Theory

Something that I always think about is the speed at which someone ascertains success. How come it takes some people a long time to get success, when to others success comes to them really fast, and others, success never comes? Of course “effort” contributes to it, but I wanted to focus on the speed, or rate of change in getting it. It’s starting to sound like math and physics. One day on my school campus I observed the students traveling along Library Walk. Library walk is a long stretch of concrete about 25 feet in width with the length of a football field. And the time was at exactly an hour, so “waves” of students were amassing on Library Walk. This is when I noticed something interesting. In general, the way people travel on foot mimics the way we travel driving our cars on the road. When we have somewhere to go, we’re usually moving forward on the RIGHTSIDE, while people going the opposite direction are traveling on our LEFT. Not too unusual, right? Well consider this. When I was traveling, I was going a lot slower than the other classmates that were headed my same direction. We were all walking, yet I wasn’t keeping step. That’s when I noticed where I was. I was walking in the same direction, but my path coincided with the wave of people going OPPOSITE to my direction. I was constantly having to dodge, bob & weave my way through students going to where I came from. So I SHIFTED myself to the right and instantly found my stride becoming faster and easier, and I was headed to my destination a lot faster than just 5 seconds ago.

I asked myself, “If the change in positioning led to that much of a difference, can it be applied to Life?” Of course. And so I figured the theory of Streams. It’s easier to get to your destination if there’s a steam headed that way. And it’s a lot harder to get to your destination if you’re in a stream that’s going the opposite way. Take a conveyor belt for example, like that at Barona when you first walk in. If you enter Barona and decide to walk on the belt that’s going in, then you’ll have an easy to getting there. You don’t even have to walk, just stand and the belt will take you inside. But if you try walking on the belt that’s headed OUT, then you’ll have to put in MORE effort to get in since you’re going against it. Clear enough? The link above is a youtube clip of Finding Nemo where Marlin(Nemos dad), Dory(the blue fish), Crush(surfer like turtle) and Squirt(the cuter turtle, Crush’s son) ride on the EAC which is a current/stream. In this current, they MOVE FAST. So consider your surroundings and which way the streams are going, where you want to go, and which stream you’re currently taking. It’s my best advice to constantly JUMP streams that will lead you to your destination/success. Real Life? If you hang out with 9 friends who just party and smoke and drink, then more than likely you’ll be the 10^th to party, smoke and drink. If you hang out with 9 millionaires, more than likely you yourself will be the 10^th millionaire. Find people with common interests and find events and resources that foster fast streams to the destination you wish to go. Now, all I got to do is find 9 millionaires.

I was never great. I was never great before.

My whole life it felt like I was never great at anything. I would strive to put in effort into whatever took into my time, but it seemed like I never quite excelled at it enough to be called “great.” To be considered great in anything, in my opinion, is to be one of the best in that field or skill. Vague? I would liken being great to being in the top 10%. So, for example, if there were 100 people in a gymnasium each shooting basketballs for a time-limit of one minute and you were to count how many baskets each person made, the top 10% would be the 10 individuals with the top 10 most made baskets. If there were 50 people shooting, the top 10% would include 5 people with the most baskets.

One event that made me question my potential was back in elementary school. Our class was running around our school’s field. And I was running my classmate, was running beside me and said, “You’re not a natural born leader, _____ is a natural born leader, but you’re not.” My stride became significantly slower the more that sentence sunk in.

And since then, I’ve accomplished many feats and accumulated accolades. I became ASB president for my middle school. I became a Dance Captain for my High School team. I got admitted to UCSD. I got on the honor roll. I played the saxophone for 6 years + section leader for honor band. Got accepted to UCSD TWICE. Those are just to name a few. These are all things that one would be proud of and would be filled with a sense of accomplishment.

But why do I still feel like I’m not “great” enough?

Inferiority Complex? I don’t know. Lazy enough not to make an effort to reach the next level? Maybe. All I know is the feeling that always follows me everywhere I go is that I’m averaging at the 75-85 percentile for the amount of effort and dedication that I naturally put in. The result is that I “get by”, but I’m left with the question of, “what would happen if I put in just MORE effort to get the the next level?” “Is it worth the trouble?” “Will I succeed, or will my effort all be in vain?”

And then I wonder how much time I actually spend on becoming great. If you were shooting basketballs, how much practice do you put in a week? 30 minutes a week? That would be pretty poor in my standards. 1 hour? Better, but not significantly. 8 hours? Now we’re talking. But putting 8 hours into math will not translate into 8 hours into basketball. So, in my example, if we spend majority of our time at school, homework, work, partying… then how do we expect to become great if we don’t put in the time? How do I expect to become great if I don’t put in the time?

I consider writing my thoughts as taking time and effort into bettering myself because it tracks my thoughts and allows me to review them as well as leave physical evidence in this world that the world in my mind exists. And I am a firm believer that our thoughts hold majority of the responsibility of our own reality.

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

–Frank Outlaw

So where do I go from here? Of course I should put in effort into constantly creating my Future. So I’ll think ahead. My actions should be for the future, so my thoughts should as well. The subject of the matter was not that of a depressing kind. Its very nature is to guarantee my success in my actions by having me constantly ask and compare against my intentions and goals with the actual results to make sure that I am on the right track. How do you know you’re going left, if you don’t know what right is? How do you know what good is, if you don’t know bad? My heading says I was never great in the past. It begs the question to see with more effort how great I will become in the future. I’ll find out if more effort is worth it. I want that 10%.

Hello world!

Kumusta ka! Life certainly has been moving for me. So much that I felt compelled to electronically chronicle my thoughts, ideas, experiences and ventures here [but it leaves me wondering how I am going to keep track of my actual written journal entries]. Even as I create this, my son is actively partaking in this experience by sleeping in my arms. Yeah, my son.

Our first post together

He’s taught me a lot about life. He’s helped me understand, appreciate, value, and take care for life. He’s helped me strengthen my patience. He’s strengthen my character. And he isn’t even a month old yet! Isaac Cameron Yiu Caasi has gave me a glimpse of the future, as well as to the past. Looking at my son’s face, I can’t help but wonder what he’ll grow up to be, what he’ll accomplish, and what he will make of the world. Looking into his face, I can’t help but wonder if this is how my father felt when I was born.

It’s not just about raising a kid. It’s not about being 16 and pregnant. I hate the media’s portrayal on giving life. It’s about actively creating the future for my family, and for the human race. It’s about building relationships and leading by example. For my son, I want to lead by example. I want to instill in him, as my dad would agree, “the right tools for life.” I want to teach him that earning comes before deserving. I want to give him the heads up that he’ll get knocked down, but he’ll always have the decision and strength to dust it off and get back up. I want him to know that more importantly than learning calculus, physics or computer science, is learning, understanding and appreciating other people. Academic skills holds second place to Life skills.  I want to teach him that it’s better to understand his emotions, than to try to control it. I want him to understand that giving everything he has to life, life will return ten-fold, both bad & good.

School teaches you a lesson, then gives you a test.
Life gives you a test that teaches you a lesson.

I get this tugging at my head that what I am experiencing, is something that transcends generations. That the cavemen of centuries ago experience, and wonder the same thing that I do. My eye is to the future, with my hand working the present.

Life isn’t about finding happiness.
It’s about creating it.